Insider Chatter by Donna Bogatin

Google strikes (bombs) again, in the high-profile keynote department. After all, if a conference organizer’s first reaction to the presenter is to publicy “congratulate” the keynoter for being off-topic, something obviously went wrong, big time.

Yesterday, I previewed the Matthew Glotzbach Google Enterprise keynote set for Interop today, by wishing for substantive talk of Google’s $625 million Positini investment, but predicting it would be but another rally for a Googley consumerization of the enterprise. In fact, a consumer Google to the enterprise rescue is exactly how the Google keynote was prefaced this morning by Lenny Heymann, Interop GM.

Google, however, surprised again, but NOT in a good way! The big, bad, (not so) Apps innovation that Glotzbach hailed was but the latest incremental Gmail product enhancement, “free IMAP.”

WOW? Even more incredulous, the Google Enterprise pitch to the high-level gathering of east coast IT execs was mainly an Apple one: You go, iPod, iPhone AND Steve, was the Glotzbach message!

Glotzbach did not get a high-five upon his keynote conclusion; Heymann retorted “congratulations for talking more about Apple, than Google.” Glotzbach remained Googley proud and not deterred, staying on Mountain View non-message by refusing to directly answer the conference organizer’s questions seeking real information from the Google keynoter.

While a Google keynote non-performance is typically Google, the inaneness of Google’s supposed enterprise level presentation was rendered all the more striking by the home run performance of the preceeding Interop keynoter, Simon Crosby, CTO and founder, XenSource, newly acquired by Citrix.

Crosby provided a detailed, real-world case study of how he is successfully targeting the VMware “monoply” by executing an ambitious vision to “commoditize the hypervisor” and thereby lead in propelling the “powerful open source industry standard for virtualization.”

What “inspiration” did Google’s Glotzbach conclude his “keynote” with? A YouTube worthy home video “clip” of his infant “tech savvy” girl playing with the iPhone, while dissing (Microsoft) smartphones!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE!

ALSO: OMMA Advertising Cat Fight? Google’s Media Chief Gets Defensive and Interop NYC: Microsoft vs. Google Enterprise Showdown?

PLUS: Google NOT Hot For SILICON ALLEY Technology! and Google Confirms: Enterprise Apps is NO Microsoft Office Killer

CONTACT DONNA BOGATIN

No wonder Steve Jobs thinks he can get away with screwing early adopters: HE CAN!

Fred Wilson’s Apple analogy last week: ”like the girl I really tried to fall in love with, but woke up one morning and (she) called it off.”

My Steve Jobs analogy today: Like the big bad boyfriend that mistreats you and thinks all it takes is a bouquet of roses to forgive and forget.

Steve Jobs unveiled his latest Apple salvo today: A two paragraph declaration that “Apple Sells One Millionth iPhone.”

Of course Jobs is a man of few words now, he knows his million early adopters will dutifully cut and paste his every word so Apple worship rings loud and clear throughout the blogosphere.

Hommage is indeed forthcoming.

Dan Moren, Macworld, gives a big high five to the “revolutionary” Steve: ” One meeeeellion iPhones” YAY!

Kent Pribbernow, theiPhoneblog, envisages planetary domination: “Apple Sells One Millionth iPhone, McDonald’s Looks on Worried”

Arik Hesseldahl, Business Week, looks forward to celebrating the next Steve Jobs PR pitch: “I’ll predict right here and now that we see a press release touting two million units by Halloween” (brave man!)

WHY THE APPLE LOVE?

One million iPhones in 74 days—it took almost two years to achieve this milestone with iPod,” said Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO. “We can’t wait to get this revolutionary product into the hands of even more customers this holiday season.

Way to go Steve, for your shareholders.

NOT BUYING STEVE ANYMORE? DON’T, LITERALLY! READ: BOYCOTT: Sweet Apple Revenge! Got Screwed? Return the iPhone Favor

ALSO: Chill Out iPhone Dudes! $3 is a SMALL Price to Pay for Apple Glory and Blodget & Ryan: Cool, or Suck? WHAT Silicon Valley ‘Insider’!

CONTACT DONNA BOGATIN

Give yourself a good ‘ol pat on the back blogosphere: YOU ARE THE BOSS OF STEVE JOBS!

Don’t stop now, though: Resting on your $100 store credit Apple laurels will only get you so far. After all, what will you actually do with the $100 Steve Jobs chit? Up-sell yourself most likely and end up giving Apple back its $100, and then some.

Are you “Bumming on Apple” like Fred Wilson is?:

Apple right now is like the girl I really tried to fall in love with but woke up one morning and called it off…pissing off everyone who was an early adopter. What’s that all about?

And what about the wifi iPod that doesn’t sync over my home wifi network? Forget about buying music via wifi, the main thing I want with wifi is a sync every night.

WANT TO REALLY MAKE STEVE JOBS SQUIRM? BOYCOTT THE APPLE!

“I am so over Apple, Steve Jobs, and my MacBook,” Wilson declares. BUT, he has tried in vain to ditch that other big, bad boy of tech, Bill Gates:

My new year’s resolution was to get off of Microsoft. I failed. Completely.

It is time for a whole lot of Apple DIS-Loyalty! Show Steve what he can really do with his $100 Apple tease: DON’T USE IT and DON’T BUY APPLE!

Because, If you let Steve use you this time, he’ll abuse you even more the next time.

DON’T LET YOURSELF BE SCREWED AT THE APPLE ALTAR AGAIN. DO SOME SCREWING OF YOUR OWN AND SPOIL STEVE’S HOLIDAY BLOW OUT PLANS!

ALSO: Hype Crimes: Habbo Hotel Weekend How-To

CONTACT DONNA BOGATIN

Who loves to pick an iPhone fight?

Barry Schwartz over at Search Engine Land is as giddy as a bully in a school yard egging on “a fight” between Nokia and Apple, cheering “it just rocks” that they are”trading blows over iPhone price cut.”

Don’t worry, though, Schwartz himself is not holding a grudge that he got ’screwed,’ along with all the other ”early adopters,” by Steve Jobs’ shrewd iPhone pricing tactics: “I’ll get over it, I guess its fair,” Schwartz begrudgingly accepts.

What is really going on in Google land, though? Could the big bad AdWords brawl “exposed” by TechCrunch and applauded by SearchEngineLand really be the smackdown it is made out to be?

Maybe in “early adopter” land, as the early adopters are the ones making all the fuss.

BUT, how many Google searches might the TechCrunch crew have done before they found one that was ripe for an “angry iPhone users” headliner?

For my first Google search I used the typical–i.e., NOT ‘early adopter’–keyword search: “iPhone,” simple as that! Result? BORING! No Nokia marketing attack! No Apple vs. Nokia smackdown!

A Google search for ”iPhone price drop” is undoubtedly NOT a mainstream one, as a search for iPhone is.

Is a Nokia — Apple AdWords duel a specifically blogosphere targeted one then? Perhaps we will see those headlines tomorrow.

FOR NOW: Chill Out iPhone Dudes! $3 is a SMALL Price to Pay for Apple Glory

PLUS: BOYCOTT: Sweet Apple Revenge! Got Screwed? Return the iPod Favor

CONTACT DONNA BOGATIN

Have the tech “early adopters” lost their touch?

First, Hugh MacLeod calls Quechup “fucking scumbags” for purportedly confusing him about “contact management” and now, once geeks gone wild for the iPhone are going wild because their hero, Steve Jobs, is deemed to have “screwed” them into waiting hours on line AND paying full price to be the first to delcare iPhone nirvana!

CHILL OUT DUDES!

Quechup is NOT the problem, YOUR mass import of YOUR unwitting email address book is. Who says all of your email contacts want their personal, confidential email addresses filtered by every single Plaxo, Facebook, Twitter wannabe: You do.

Steve Jobs is NOT the problem, YOUR fickle love hate worship for all YOUR things Apple is. Who says you have to camp out overnight at the Palo Alto Apple to “cross path with Jobs”: You do.

You want in to “early adopter” glory? You have to pay the price.

The price for Quechup glory is surprising low, and so is the Apple iPhone glory price.

Don’t want to blame Quechup for “spamming” the email list that you gave them? READ THE QUECHUP INSTRUCTIONS!

Don’t want Apple to undercut you two months out of the iPhone gate? WAIT FOR THE INEVITABLE PRICE DROP.

But why wait? Why deprive yourself of all things Apple for even one day?

After all, what price did you really pay to be able to live the Apple dream from day one? JUST $3 A DAY!

So, don’t be iPhone cheapstkate cry babies! Be the cool dudes that you really are: Declare your Steve Job worship is a bargain at the $200 you invested to be the proud, first one on your virtual blocks, owners of iPhone, at a cool $599.

Not convinced? Just relive the testimonial of Thomas Hawk:

To those who say it was stupid to camp out overnight at the Palo Alto Apple store when I could have gotten it waiting only 4 hours in line at a At&T store somewhere else, you just don’t get it.

Camping out last night at the Palo Alto Apple store was not about an iPhone. It was about an experience. Something that I value far more than my new iPhone. There were many highlights for me.

When we left the Apple store we crossed paths with Jobs. I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t even notice. Kristopher did though and he traded nods and a wink with Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs has been a long-time hero of Kristopher’s. It was an intensely powerful emotional thing for him. One of the best days of his life I’m sure.

If THAT is not worth $200, what is!

PLUS: Hey iPhone ‘Early Adopters’: NO Google Fight in the Real Apple World and BOYCOTT: Sweet Apple Revenge! Got Screwed? Return the iPod Favor

CONTACT DONNA BOGATIN

Two days ago, the world experienced GEEKS GONE WILD for Facebook on the iPhone.

Apple consumers are also overheated about the iPhone; Ultra cool apparently entails ultra battery replacements.

One constituency is staying calm, “cool” and collected amidst the iPhone frenzy, however: Multiply.com, a Facebook competitor, on the Internet, and now on the iPhone as well. The Multiply tag line is “share your life with your friends.” As of today, the sharing can take place directly from the iPhone.

What’s more, more sharing can be done via Multiply on the iPhone, than via Facebook on the iPhone, according to Multiply Founder and CEO Peter Pezaris.

I spoke with Pezaris on the eve of the Multiply iPhone launch; He proudly notes 13 different ways social networking with Mulitply on the iPhone beats social networking with Facebook on the iPhone. SEE BELOW

Pezaris claims Multiply on the iPhone is “the most feature-rich, mobile media sharing solution available.”

On the iPhone, or on the Web, Multiply beats Facebook, Pezaris proudly told me. How so? While Facebook and MySpace are popular “hangouts” where young people congregate to hook up, Multiply is a serious media sharing platform for serious adults, according to Pezaris:

We have worked to create applications and features that our family, friends and colleagues would want because Multiply is about communicating and sharing with people we most care about, not profile-surfing or adding-in strangers as friends.

Multiply is Pezaris’ second time at Web entrepreneurship bat. In his first go around, Pezaris hit a home run, parlaying $10,000 of personal funds into a eight figure buy out. Pezaris co-founded Commissioner.com, a fantasy sports statistics service which was later merged into SportsLine.com.

Multiply is VC backed, Pezaris expects to soon close a Series B round. He will undoubtedly share the news with “family, friends and colleagues,” at Multiply.

ALSO: Mark Zuckerberg Maps U.S.Patent for Facebook SOCIAL NETWORK Engine and TechStars Top Ten: Search to Phone Leads Startup Pack

PLUS: Does USC Annenberg OJR Want Old Media Journalists to Shut Up?

CONTACT DONNA BOGATIN